Shakin BONES Time… Do we really have “Bullies” in Early Childhood Settings? I Don’t Think So! We have children who are looking for POWER. The word “bully” is being overused and frequently defines natural, authentic behaviors in young children. Every child is looking for what they are good at. A child who is often classified as a “bully” believes if you can’t be the best at, living up to an adults expectations, than I will be the best at being the worst. Remember you don’t have “bullies” unless you have “victims”. Perhaps the focus should be on the “victims”
Leo Tobin said, “When a Child is placed in failure experiences he/she will do anything to avoid that feeling. Even if that means hurting themselves or others.” That means I have to look at what I might be doing to cause that feeling of failure and make changes in myself to prevent that.
Children, who are looking for Power often, demonstrate assertive behaviors. Sometimes pushing, calling names, not sharing are all behaviors that are natural. We want assertive children; it is part of the basis for healthy relationships later on. Creating a sense of belonging accepts all children not just compliant children. Belonging is a feeling of being a part of something. A child will do almost anything to maintain his/her role in a group. My job is to make sure that all children who show up at my door on Monday are accepted. I am hoping that you see that as your job also.